He told me that we were going to save Christmas.
“No, I’m out of that business. I’m not doing that anymore.” I looked at the wall.
“Come on, Hank. You’re one of the best Christmas savers on the planet. You fought back the people who tried to bring back Ymir, you stopped Queen Mab from taking over the North Poll, and you prevented the Ice Age. We need you to stop Santa’s clone from destroying the world.” He looked at me. “Come on, we need you.”
“I can’t do that anymore. I’m retired. After the things I’ve seen, I guess I’m just all out of Christmas spirit.” I looked at the wall. The head of an ancient Fairy Lord hung there. I saw a picture of me shaking hands with Santa and Odin. I also saw myself at a Jonas Brothers concert, but that’s another story. Also there was this really cool Navaho weaving and…
“Without you the Santa Clone will give coal to every single child in the world! Do you really want a Christmas without everyone magically receiving presents? Our entire economy would collapse! Can you imagine the sad looks on all those faces?”
I sighed, and grabbed my hunting rifle. It was time to get to work.
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